The greatest victory in Pakistani history

Today Pakistani defeated the might of England.

It was a stab to the heart of the evil empire that conspires to keep the people of Pakistan down.

This was more than a cricket match, this was a struggle between the light and dark sides of humanity, and as we all know, there can be only one winner.

Pakistan won this battle.

They proud men in green had to defeat vicious rumours, global conspiracies, violent opposition players and Michael Yardy.

Other players, less Pakistani, would never have been able to withstand this sort of full frontal attack, but these boys did.

Or, it could be all lies.

Perhaps the English players took money to lose these matches.

This win could be part of the global conspiracy, just another slap in the face.

England could have made money while they laughed at the Pakistanis celebrating, they’re probably still giggling while they check their swiss accounts for the transfers.

They probably did it in conjunction with India, the ICC and the CIA. I bet the Catholic Church was involved too. Maybe Lindsay Lohan.

All part of a global united conspiracy to make Pakistan look stupid.

Ofcourse, Pakistan is winning, and we know what when Pakistan wins, something is up.

Also, if Pakistan lose, something is up.

Assumably if their is a tie or a draw, something is up.

I thought I saw Pakistan win a game of cricket.

But what I really saw was a confidence scam carried out by so many people that even when Pakistan win, they really lose.

The good news is, that when Pakistan lose, they really win.

When the tie or draw, the win, lose and have no result.

If it rains, farmers win.

When there is bad light, everyone loses.

YOU SEE, DO YOU SEE, NOTHING IS WHAT IT IS, EVERYTHING IS SOMETHING ELSE EVEN WHEN IT IS THE SAME OR DIFFERENT.

Maybe Pakistan did win this game of cricket, maybe the global conspiracy let them win this one, maybe they just played better cricket and won the game.

Or, perhaps this world only exists in Ijaz Butts’ mind.

You, I and Nathan Hauritz do not exist, we are merely part of the most detailed nightmare Ijaz has ever had.

It has to be a nightmare, because otherwise there would be more unicorns and leg spinners.